This has been an interesting, thought provoking and entertaining exercise.  However, not one I'd like to repeat anytime soon.  Too much happy messes with my gloom.

So, on this final day...some things I'm happy about are the members of my Flist.  Some of you have drifted in and drifted on, some have been around for a long time and some are recent additions.  Still, it is encouraging and refreshing to know that somebody actually reads my little bloviations, my attempts at poetry and little memories.  Better still, most of you all fall under the category of being a "mess."

And this isn't a bad thing.  Far from it.  I remember my mother, having grown up in West Virginia, telling me that when somebody around there told you that you were a mess, it wasn't mean spirited.  It was a pleasant observation about how we are all a bundle of contradictions, flaws, strong points and admirable traits.  In other words, you're a good human being.

I've a good wife, some mighty fine Stoopid Kats who make me laugh because of who they are, a decent job and a bottle of Tropicana Fruit Punch.

I mean, honestly, outside of flaming bagels, what more could you want?

I am so pleased that tomorrow is the last day I am obligated to do this.  Like most people, it is easier to focus on the negative and I find it so as well.  I'd rather whine about my moldy bagel that ruined my breakfast yesterday morning.  Or how I'd rather not pay for an oil change because there are some CD's I'd rather have.

However, this has been a good exercise for me. 

I'm grateful and happy today for the fact that as a fuck-up, I ended up being a failure.  I succeeded in spite of myself.  And I like it!

I am glad that our trip to Ohio to visit Grandma is fast approaching.  She is 98, so every visit is like free money at the casino.  It's a gift to be cherished.  I am 45 years old, and I still have a living grandparent.  How bloody cool is that?  How blessed can I be?

I had ham for lunch.  That also gratifies me.

And I think I only have a couple more days of this.  That's a freakin' party starter right there! 

I am happy today because I had a mother.  Without her, and some cooperation from my father, I wouldn't be here.

She passed away seven years ago last month.  At the time, I was relieved.  Horrible to say, but at least her suffering was over.  She had MS, and lived the last few years of her life confined to a motorized scooter, a nursing home and her own demons.  It didn't make for a good quality of life for her, nor anyone else.

I had a contentious and mutually destructive relationship with my mother for most of her life.  First of all, I was male.  I couldn't help that, but I suffered for it anyway.  When my sister came along, my mother was better equipped to deal with and raise her.  It's not a criticism of Mother, just a fact of life.  Lord knows I don't blame my sister.  Wasn't her fault.

Mother was pretty blunt on one occasion.  I was pretty hurt about some choice she had made because she was obviously favoring my sister.  I called her on it, and Mother admitted that it was true.  Not only that, but that she preferred her to me.  Not my sister's fault, and I don't blame her for it.  Part of it was that I was male, the other that we were too similar.

While it may not be true in every case, in most instances, Time Does Heal All Wounds.  In my case, by listening to my Grandfather, I did my duty to my Mother.  Not always as he would have wanted me to, that is for certain.  I so wanted at times to tell her to go to the devil and wash my hands of her.  I did a time or two, but it never lasted.  She was, after all, my Mother.  I had my duty.

Fast forward to the last year or so of her life.  There's a part of me that thinks now that she knew the end was near.  That, or prayed for it.  What matters is that on one visit, she looked at me with a thoughtful look on her face and told me that I had been a good son to her.  Despite years of being told I was a disappointment and that I didn't measure up, that one sentence on that one occasion was priceless to me.

That seemingly small gift allowed me to forgive.  Not just her, but myself.  As the years have passed, while I don't try to guild the lily, I do recall more of the genuine good times and things about her.  She taught me good table manners and how to behave myself in public.  She taught me the value of buying quality the first time so I don't have to replace cheap down the line.  She taught me the value of enjoying reading.  She also taught me that there was much to be enjoyed musically.

Further, while she had a helluva time applying these lessons to her own life, she did teach me to accept people as they are and not how I'd like them to be.  It's a lesson I have to work hard on everyday, but I'd like to think I've gotten better at it as the years have passed.

And on a related note, I also miss my Mother-in-Law something awful.  She passed a couple of years ago, and her absence is still felt keenly in our home.  She was a woman of character and somebody I admired and enjoyed.  She seemed to think I was a good husband to her daughter, so that was good to know.  She is sorely missed.

As the years have passed, I miss my own Mother more than I imagined I would.  So, that makes Mother's Day hard for the two of us.  Our Mother's are gone, and outside of our Stoopid Kats, we have no children together.  We get to focus on what we are missing today...so, say a small prayer for those who have lost their mother's and/or aren't mothers and what this day might mean to them.

Still, Mother's gift allows me the freedom and pleasure to say today, "Thanks, Mom" and mean it.

I'll tell you one more thing today.  My sister could write a book about parenting.  She and her husband are terrific parents to their two boys.  She is a Mom in every sense of the word and enjoys good relationships with her boys.  I'm pleased for them and proud of her.  Happy Mother's Day, Sis.

So, I'm an idiot.  No, really. It's true...I posted Wednesday's Post of Joy as a Tuesday Edition when I started this on Tuesday.  So, I'm an idiot...

I am also quite pleased that we all now have a concrete reason to not like Manny Ramirez with the 50 Game suspension yesterday.  I'll have much more to say about him later.

I'm glad that this years burst of Favre Hysteria is over almost before it began.  It would have hurt me deeply to see him wearing the accursed colors of the Minnesota Vi-Queens.  I can now root for him against his lawn this summer with a certainty that he is now, well and truly, retired.  Until some other sportswriter decides to make news out of speculation.

I am grateful for rain.  It makes the flowers grow so pretty.  On the other hand, it also makes the grass grow which means somebody has to mow it.  Fortunately, it hasn't been me this year.  The guy living in the basement has been doing it.  Unasked!  wOOt!

This whole "Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy" thing (which I notice the person who TAGGED ME hasn't been keeping up) has had the unfortunate side effect of planting a hideous Ear Worm in my poor brain...

http://www.last.fm/music/Tom+T.+Hall/_/I+Love

I just got another rejection note from a Lit Mag.  Which is a bummer. 

But, the good news is that I had enough chutzpah to actually send some of my poetic nonsense for consideration.
So, there is that.

So, carry on then.  Onward and upward!

So, I wasn't at work yesterday.  Happy?  Check!
Except Elaine was going to the Doctor's about her back.  Happy?  Not so much.
Except I got to be with Elaine most of the day?  Happy?  Check.
Except Elaine got the news she didn't want.  Happy?  Not so much.

So, let's call that a push and look elsewhere.

I got to ride the motorcycle to work this morning.  YAY!  No Rain!  YAY!

We're having hamburgers for dinner tonight.  Cooking them on the grill.  YAY!

And I'm listening to Robin Trower!  YAY!

Right. Happiness over the little things. 

How many more days of this are there?

Today's edition of "Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy" is being brought to you by your local Pork Producers who remind you "It's not our fault, dammit!"

Today I got to spend most of the day driving Elaine to a couple of doctor's functions.  The first was some sort of exam I can't even say, much less spell.  Essentially, the techs put these incredibly long needles into her back, put her on a table, shot her full of some sort of dye, moved the table around to sort of shake the dye up and move it around (I had visions of the hokey-pokey whilst lying down on a table going on), took some X-Rays, and then they hauled her down to the CT machine, had her do a 360 to further mix up the dye, then took more pictures of her innards.

After that, she got to lounge on a padded gurney for about an hour whilst we both watched part of a TV show called "Overhauled" where the hosts steal some poor schlubs car, show him/her pictures of how it got vandalized, then they trick it all out while playing The Mark for a chump.  There is so a level of stupidity and wrongness about this.  Have we, as a society come so close to the bottom of the entertainment barrel?

After that, we went to lunch.  That was much better, more pleasant and no shaking involved.

Then, it was off to the doctor to discuss the various poking, prodding, pictures and such.  And that's really not what I want to talk about anymore...

What I am grateful and happy about is that I have a job.  A job that lets me be a devoted husband to my wife when she needs me to be.  I'm grateful that she still loves me after driving her to these weird things.  And, we had take out BBQ tonight.  That also made me happy.

Oh! Oh! Oh!  I also stepped on the tail of one of our Stoopid Kats last night.  She squalled and hollered, then took off running.  She left a huge and noticable hunk o' fur on the floor under my foot.  She came back to sniff at it, and did so for a while.  So, I picked it up and threw it out.

I'm glad that she is a Stoopid Kat and can't remember crap like this.  Today, she jumped in my lap wanted to have her ears scratched and to shower me with fur and purring...

I got tagged.  I am now it.  I didn't even know we was playin' tag. Nobody tells me nuthin'....

This is ALL Clancy's fault (ghostofagypsy )  :-)

1. Post about something that made you happy today.
2. Repeat for eight days.  (ACK!!!)
3. Tag six people to do the same:  Hmmm. mardeen , reginaclarejane , joncwriter , k00kaburra , puckbunny87 , and last but certainly not least, themeindzeye 


I was happy I woke up and I hadn't soiled my sheets.  I managed to make through yet another night without messing the bed.  Been a regular occurrence since I was a wee (HA!), small lad.  Failure to do so would most likely mean I was pretty close to the grave, chronologically speaking.  A lack of incontinence is a wonderful thing.

Oh, and I was also happy that Rick Ankiel didn't break his face, neck or back after last nights face first collision with the Left-Center-Field wall last night.

Simple Meme  - 5 Things you just can't bring yourself to care about.

1. Penguins
2. Tom Waits
3. Leonard Cohen
4. Libertarians
5. New York Yankees

1) What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?

Sushi
NC-17 Answer - REALLY!  Sushi...

2) Have you ever kissed anyone named Matt?

Nope.

2a) Have you ever kissed anyone named Matilda?

Yep.  5th grade, I think...

3) What does your last text message say?

"Congratulations, your service has been extended..."

4) What was the last song you listened to?

'65 Love Affair - Paul Davie

5) If you hated someone and got put in charge of their funeral music, what would it be?

The Best of Marcel Marceu

6) What did you do yesterday?

Worked, felt sick to my stomach, got my comics, slouched on the couch, found out some news that was both good and bad (don't ask, won't answer...)

7) What did you dream about?

I've no recollection...

8) Pick a scar on your body - what did you do?

Upper lip, left side, where I got the crap beat out of me when I lived in WI...got hit so hard that my eye tooth went clean through my skin/lip..

9) ?

Exactly....

10) !

I was just sayin' that the other day...

11) Last time you cried?

April 3...don't ask, I won't tell you.

12) Who’s your most religious friend?

My wife...the most devout, at any rate.  Bobby/i is probably up there as well...

13) Who do you trust with your life?

My wife.  Without question.  For some reason, she always has my best interests at heart. 

14) If you could change your name to anything what would it be?

Clarence Shithouse.

15) What would you do if someone told you that you were the most beautiful handsome person in the world and they would do anything to wake up to your face each and every morning?

What makes you think I don't hear that each and every morning?

16) %

Pop a 0 in front of that and you have the percentage of my chances of voting for Hilary....

17) Do you trust all of your friends?

If they is my friends, that goes without saying.  Otherwise, they are aquaintances I like a lot.

18) Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?

I already is...

19) Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

I know that everything I do is for a reason.  Some good, some not so good...I don't know about everything else.

20) What are two things you would NOT tolerate in a relationship?

Jealousy and lack of trust.  Most everything else is negotiable.


21) Which one of your top friends do you think would make the best prostitute?

How the bloody hell should I know?

22) Who is the nicest person you know?

My wife.  Proof is that she puts up with me.

23) What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?

Make it through the end of this month without filling out another stupid meme

THERE ARE A WHOLE BUNCH OF NUMBERS MISSING HERE.

28) If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time who would you call?

My wife...

29) Would you make a good parent?

I was at one point...until circumstances changed.  (Don't ask, I won't tell you)

30) Where was your default picture taken?

I created in in Photoshop.  It took 12 seconds...and it's not a duck.

31) Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?

The sushi I had for lunch....

32) Who knows you the best?

My wife.

33) When is the last time you truly liked someone?

When I asked her to marry me.  I still do like her.  Nicest person I know...


34) What are your plans for the weekend?

Go to KC to our great nieces 2nd Birthday Party....

37) What’s your favorite saying?

"I Wish Cotton Was A Monkey" or "Ya Think?"

38) WHERE'S #38?

39) Have you ever punched a tree?

thinking...thinking....thinking.....ZZZZZzzzzzzz

40) Have you ever snuck out of your house/someone in your house?

Hell yes, when I was a kid.  And to get out of the house to Wal-Mart for late night shopping to surprise my wife...

41) How would you describe your relationship with your best friend?

My marriage...

42) Morning or night person?

I suppose....

43) Are you there for your friends?

When they need me.

44) Do you like to spend time with people?

I like people.

45) WHAT HAPPENED TO #45?

46) Are you a forgiving person?

For the most part.  Except when I'm not...

47) Would you ever share a girl/boyfriend with your best friend?

Nope....

48) Have you lost a friend recently?

Not that I can think of...

49) Are you talking to someone while doing this? Who?

Nope...not even myself.

50) Do you want a relationship right now?

I'm married...what do YOU think?

Ten of the best...(found on  the LJ ofkittyhunter )


1) Do you believe that you can change someone?
What an interesting question...this can be viewed in so many different ways.  I've changed diapers on family small and not so small.  No child should ever have to change a parents diaper, but you do what you gotta do, right. 

I agree with the notion that trying to change somebody is a zero sum game.  If they have annoying habits or attributes, you either accept that as part of who they are or you don't.  Serious and deep love isn't about finding the things you have in common, but more about dealing with the differences.  What challenge is there in getting along with somebody who is so close to they way you are?

2) If you could get married anywhere, money not an object where would it be?
the Church of St. Mary the Virgin, Aldermanbury, a 12th century church from the middle of London, redesigned by Sir Christopher Wren in 1677, that was relocated to Fulton.   Having been inside this church, and to a wedding there, it's lovely.

3) Do you wear glasses?
Except for sleeping, yes.

4) Are you loyal?
I'd like to think I am.

5) Have you hated someone in your family?
Heavens yes.  Took too much energy and I've found that it hurt me more than the object of my hatred.  Hate is hard work, I'm here to tell you.  Not worth it.

6) Would you ever make out with someone of the same sex?
ACK!  No!

7) Most visited webpage?
MyYahoo, Last.fm and this here mess.

8) Coffee or Tea?
Who is buying?  What time?  Either is good with me...

9) What was the last book you read?
The Glasswright's Apprentice by Mindy Klasky.  I have too many books.  I could probably not buy a book for two years and not run out of things to read...

10) Tell us something about you that possibly we don't know?
I treasure this little set of decorative thimbles that belonged to my late mother-in-law.  They are quite beautiful.

This is in response to puckbunny87 who asked;

Name something that gives you an incredible "high" and describe why. (besides your bike, because you already blogged that one ;-))

I've sat on this question and given it some serious thought over the past couple of days.  Mainly because I don't have massively high highs and the flip side of that is that I don't have overwhelmingly low lows either.  But there are a few things that make me happy, and give me a real sense of accomplishment when I do them.   Here's a list of some as follows:

• Finishing a particularly good book.
• Completing a poem with which I am pleased.
• finding a particular comic book I've been looking for.
• Discovering new music
• Being at a baseball game with my wife.  Especially when our team wins.
• Having friends or family over to our house.
• Hearing my nephews laugh or the noise they make when they burst out of the door when we get there.
• Prayer
• Holding my wife's hand.
• And hitting a curve at just the right angle, hitting the throttle and speeding out of it at the right speed on the bike.  ;-)

The song "Favorite Things" comes to mind as I write this.  It is appropriate to think of these things as giving me a high.  Mainly, it's the little things in life that I have learned to appreciate as I get older.  Things I was too busy or short-sighted to see when I was younger.