Between goofing off, football, goofing off and being easily distracted, my writing goal for the weekend was missed.

I really wanted to hit the 30,000 plateau by the end of my writing time yesterday, but it didn't happen. I only managed to get to 29,300 some and was just too tired to go any more. Mine eyes were gritty with weariness, bones were tired...and that was probably from the fab dinner Elaine fixed.

I have a soft spot for Jenny-O Turkey Roasts. I mean, for all I know they make them from stuff they sweep off the floor. I know not and care less. Anyhow, every so often one of those bad boys sounds good. With mashed potatoes and green beans. Yum!

I have a mystery turkey meat sammich for lunch today and maybe, I'll get to my writing goal.

We spent some time today in Door County, WI.  Wonderful place.  Everyone should go there at least once.  And if you do, make sure you head to Ephraim, WI (The only dry community in the area...) and head to Wilson's Restaraunt and Ice Cream Parlor.  I got this today:























It was amazing...

That's a waffle cone of Chocolate Peanut Butter Explosion and Maple Nut Ice Cream.

That was dinner. 

Life is good.

I never realized I had so many pairs of socks. When I was growing up, my definition of success was to have enough money to wear a brand new pair of socks everyday.  When I was looking at the pile, the enormous pile of socks, that MOUNTAIN of socks, I thought of that.  My sock drawer is overflowing.  What is really amazing to me is that I didn't even match up all these socks.

Every single stitch of clothing we own, except that which we were wearing was laundered this weekend.  Every towel as well.  10 loads of laundry is a lot of washing.  It's also a lot of up and down the stairs.  That's my part of the process.  I haul it up and down the stairs, sort it out, throw it in the washer, move it over to the dryer, then haul it back upstairs.  Elaine folds it up, irons what needs ironing and we both put stuff away.  Makes it a less obnoxious task.

A nice side benefit of this activity this weekend was getting all packed several days in advance of our trip to WI to visit family.  I mean, all our clothes are packed in their suitcases and loaded into the car, ready to go.  The van is cleaned out and is ready with a new Yankee Candle air freshener (Cotton Breezes or something like that...) hanging from the rear view mirror.  Being ready this far in advance is something really new.  Usually, it's panic, PACK, PACK, PACK the night before and realize I forgot something like a toothbrush, pair of shoes, or something about 90 minutes away from home.  This realization is typically followed by much cursing and pounding on the steering wheel.

We had some new visitors to the feeders this weekend.  A red-bellied woodpecker showed up, as did a couple of fat little robins.  Female cardinals were helping themselves to the safflower seed.  I'd seen a male cardinal recently, but not a female.  The finches are getting pudgy.  Seems like they are always eating...and eating....

It has been uncommonly cool the last couple of weeks.  I'm not complaining, but I don't ever remember opening the house up and shutting off the A/C in August in Missouri.  My first summer here, it was 101 in the shade.  Not being a fool, I stayed out of the shade (thank you very much, I'll be here all week...Try the Veal!).  It was Chili weather, to be honest.  So, Elaine made some on Saturday morning and let it simmer all afternoon.  Man, that was some mighty fine chili.  We finished it up last night.

I don't think it got much over 70 degrees yesterday.  That's College Football weather, and that doesn't start until next weekend.  I wonder if this is a side effect of Global Warming?

I was thinking today about our upcoming trip to the Green Bay area around Labor Day to visit my Olde Man.  We haven't been up to visit them in almost 5 years.  Not because we don't love 'em or nothing, but we've managed to see them here, or elsewhere in the interim.   So, it'll be nice to go and see them.

That got me to thinking about our trip to Toledo over the Memorial Day weekend to visit The Olde Man's Mother, my Grandmother.  Our friends Pat and Sheila went with us.  Pat's back was acting up and he was uncomfortable most of the time, and while he didn't complain, we all knew he was suffering.  Sometimes verbal cue's aren't needed...

On one day of our trip, we left Toledo (and Grandma) and ventured off to Frankenmuth, MI.  It's an old German community, with a strong Bavarian feel to the town.  And one of the places we went in Frankenmuth was Bronner's.  It was Christmas in May at Bronner's.  Of course, it is Christmas at Bronner's year round.  They sell Christmas decorations year round. 

It is an enormous place.  Takes several hours to see most everything and there is a lot to see.  Tons of stuff.  Stuff you will never see at the Gates of Hell (Wally World) or the local mall.  Themes from around the world, trees, Santa's from all over, music, books, lights, and most everything else you can think of and a lot of stuff you can't.

Being a Christmas store, they play Christmas music in the place year round.  I had to laugh as I walked past an employee, wearing her Christmas colored apron and singing along with Brenda Lee.  I told her to "Sing out!"  She blushed and said she couldn't do that, and I told her I had heard her just fine.  I don't believe she realized that she had been singing that loud.

I asked her, "Don't you ever get tired of these songs?  Especially at Christmas time?"  Her answer was, "No.  I guess it takes a special type to work here year round."  And I would agree.   After some more looking around, picking out a few new baubles for the tree, we left.  And left the magic and wonder of Christmas to Memorial Day just by walking through a door.  It was kind of an odd experience.

After Bronner's, we ambled off to Zehnder's of Frankenmuth for lunch.  Fried Chicken is what they are famous for and for good reason.  It's not a heavy, crunchy crust ala The Colonel, but more a seasoned (and salty) flour batter that was more of a coating than a crust.  The other item that Zehnder's is well known for is Mother's Dressing, served with the aforementioned fried chicken.  Fabulous stuff and the prices weren't bad.  As big as Bronner's is, they need places as large as Zehnder's. They serve over a million plates of food annually.  Not bad for a small town joint.

Pat has had his back operated on and is already feeling better.  Still recovering, but doing a whole heap better.  For which I am grateful.  Next is Elaine who should be getting her back worked on sometime in the next few months...

That great American, Ernestine Ulmer has said "Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first" and those are words I can live by without question.

As to which is my favorite, the list is short.

1. Apple Pie
2. Everything Else

Mine own.   Consisting of Bacon-y goodness and Peanut Butter-y protein!

Plus, other stuff like eggs, and toast and oatmeal and steak on the grill and salad and the occasional trip to the local Chinese place (that is as close to real Chinese as Taco Bell is to Mexican) and...oh yeah!  Gyro's and Falafel's and other yummy goodness.

Like these terrific Weight Watcher's pancakes Elaine found a recipe for that were fantastical and really good to eat and stuff.

From the One Minute Writer:

Friday Fiction: Breakfast

-------------------------------------------------

He sat there pushing his cup around, the coffee growing cold.  Jim was wondering where Larry was.  For 17 years, they'd had this running breakfast "thing" at the Broadway Diner.  They never formalized it, but it was a part of the routine of both men.  With rare exception, Saturday mornings found them where Jim was, waiting for Larry.

It had all started quite by accident.  Jim had been a regular already.  Took his breakfast by himself, reading the paper.  Larry started coming in regularly and as such, Jim would nod at him either on his way in or out.  That became a brief, "How ya going?" which graduated to, "Mind if I join you?"  Jim still brought the newspaper, but never touched it.  Always left it behind when they left.

They'd never discussed the way things had happened.  That might have changed things between them.  They talked about their lives, dreams, families and solved the problems of the day.  The only nod to the arrangement would be a mention. "I'll be on vacation, so I may not be in next week" and that was it.  They never said "goodbye" but parted with, "See ya..."

It was with this in mind that Jim sat there wondering what was keeping Larry.  His reverie was deeper than he thought because the gentle hand on his shoulder startled him.  It caused him to slosh his coffee.  He was grateful it has gone cold at that moment.

Looking to his right, he saw a woman about his own age.  She looked at him with a sad smile on her face, "You must be Jim."

"Yes..." he allowed.

"Well Jim, I'm Norma.  Larry's wife.  He has spoken of you often over the years such that I feel as if I know you and you're my own dear friend.  Which is why it pains me to tell you..." and here her voice caught.

"Why don't you sit down, Norma."  Jim invited, waving to the vacant seat. 

As soon as she was seated, and had a cup of hot coffee in front of her, she looked a Jim with that sad smile. She opened her mouth to speak, but Jim interrupted, "Larry won't be coming down here anymore, will he?"

"No. He won't" a small voice responded.

Jim thought for a moment, "Let's order us some breakfast, alright?"
 

I love me some bagels.  Have for years.  Mostly I had the choice between 'Egg' bagels and 'Plain' bagels.

As bagel munchage has become more widespread, more variety has been introduced into the bagel equation.  Vegetable bagels, whole wheat bagels, onion bagels, strawberry swirl bagels, french toast bagels, you get the idea...

I has a new favorite.  Because the entire bagel experience is enhanced due to their marvelous awesome bagel-ee goodness!

I'm talking about: Lemon Poppy Seed bagels!

Elaine found some and brought them home a while ago.  Gotta tell you, that act alone is worthy of enshrinement in the 'Cool Wife' Hall of Fame, but I digress.

The pleasure starts when you take that first step of opening the bag.  Lemony/Poppy Seedy goodness wafts over you as the aroma explodes out of the bag.  You become engulfed in an invisible cloud of sensory overload.  This effect is only enhanced if you toast them.

There are few bagels that aren't improved by putting cream cheese on them.  Come to that, there are few things in life that aren't improved with cream cheese...but, I digress.  Again.   These bagels are one of those things.  Toasted, warm, and crunchy.  They are pleasure enough all by their very lonesome.

I suggest that you hie thyself to yon Supermarket and procure some of these delectables today with great haste!!

The weekend was full of activity and laziness.  All things being equal, it was a good weekend.  Yesterday, laundry got done, some packing for our upcoming trip to see family was done, I cooked meat on the grill for both lunch and dinner yesterday.  And we Saved Big Money At Menards! buying a new trash can (YAY!) weed killer and plant food (WEE!) and other stuff. 

I cleaned the van out of several months worth of junk, trash and reusable grocery sacks, also in preperation of our upcoming trip.  So, that was a good thing.

But the highlight of the weekend was Pie.  Elaine made APPLE PIE from scratch! (poor scratch)





















Man, that pie was good.  Got a piece for lunch....

It really is the little things in life that are wonderful.

I got hold of some Army issue MRE's and had one for lunch.

Just another reason to thank a Serviceman when you see one.  Them things is so....bland.

However, they are a boatload better than Dehydrated food you buy for camping.  Out in the boondocks, miles away from McDonald's, where it's you and Smokey the Bear and a small creek, they are jim-dandy fine.  Eaten at home on the comfort of your own couch, they taste worse than last week's ashes.  Yuck!

I've eaten shark (boring), snake (eh...), buffalo (yum!), and years ago, deep fried silk worms (crunchy!)

Around here, the fact that I eat sushi makes me suspect to many of my friends.

Turns out it was worse than I anticipated.  the MoviPrep, I mean.  Disgusting would have been an improvement.  Hell, revolting would have been an improvement.  Don't tell my doctor, but I was so grossed out by this stuff, and I poured my last dose down the drain.  Couldn't do it to myself.  The other parts of the prep (too much time in the bathroom and constant rumbly tumbly) are to be expected and while a nuisance, weren't onerous.  The crap I took to make me crap?  Should be outlawed.

There is something fundamentally wrong about longing for Fleet Enema solution, but it's been removed from the market due to idiot doctors giving it out like candy.  Seems if you're not careful, Fleet could cause Renal Failure.  Oops!  Let's face it, there are some doctors who just don't pay attention or do the work needed and just prescribe.  Idiots...

I slept poorly.  The sound effects from my middle woke me up a time or three.  I had to get up early this morning, forgo breakfast and drink MORE of this overpriced, foul tasting swill and spend more time in the loo.

I get to the Endoscopy Center and everybody there is all sunshine and flowers.  Which is okay, but I'm a little grumpy.  Being hungry and drained will do that to a person.  Add in having to drink 2 liters of something that tastes like paint thinner, and I'm just Sammy Sunshine.  Feh!

I get ready, laid out on a rolling bed (we used to call them gurney's) and was wheeled in to the room for the procedure.  The Gas Passer was a nice guy who didn't use gas.  He called it a martini and I believe I had too meeny martooni's because I fell asleep in the middle of a sentence.  We were talking about the Mizzou basketball team beating Oklahoma last night.  I saw bits and pieces of it.  For obvious reasons, I tried not to think of dribbling.  *ahem!*  

Next thing I know, they're done and handing me grape juice.  Hot tea and toast would have been better, I imagine.  Still, I got to lounge around on the hot rod gurney for a bit, got dressed and Elaine took me to IHOP for breakfast.  I did myself proud and put away pancakes and eggs.  Skipped the bacon.  Don't need the grease, dontcha know.  ;-)

I'm home resting, and since I was knocked out I am not supposed to drive, ride a motorcycle, mow the lawn or sign legal documents today.  So, no...I don't want to buy a bridge in New York today.  Call me tomorrow.

I'm getting quite the bacon-y rep around here.  People associate me with the hammy, fatty goodness that is bacon.  I'm not sure whether to be flattered or embarrassed.  I guess I'll be proud and just get on with it...

So, have you seen or heard of Baconnaise?  It's basically bacon flavored mayonnaise.  They believe that everything should taste like bacon.  Sentiments I can heartily get behind.  And, they claim it's vegetarian safe!!  They also sell Bacon salt and something I might get for my wife; bacon lip balm.

OK, maybe not.


Something every bacon dreamer needs is a bacon pillow, or the Stuffed Bacon.  I'm glad it's not a greasy pillow!

Should you have a sweet tooth, have no fear.  Some idiots decided that combining bacon, maple and a stick was a good idea.   You can now purchase over-priced Maple-Bacon Lollipops to assuage your sweet/hammy tooth flavor fetish.  4 for $10?  Are they stoned or stupid? 

Finally, unless you've been living under a stump or just plain don't care (*GASP!*) there is this tremendous fat bomb/vein clogging recipe called the Bacon Explosion.  I read about it on the New York Times web site.  You can too.

Yet another in a series of all things bacon.

Last night, Elaine and I had a commitment right after work, so we didn't get a chance to eat our dinner until close to 7 o'clock.  Needless to say, we were close to famished.  We had made plans to go to Subway (Eat Fresh!), but I sort of got cold feet.  I didn't want a wimpy sandwich.  I wanted beef (It's what's for dinner!).  Meat.  I wanted something substantial for dinner (read: Cheeseburger & Fries), not a sammich.

So, we talked it over and Elaine told me, "Go where you want."  I love/hate that answer.  It's permission to get into trouble is what it is.  It's an invitation to see what kind of mood she is in and decide where she wants to go.  It's also what it says.  She doesn't really care, go where you want.  I just never know which it is.

That morning I had initially suggested that we go to McNasty's for preformed goo they call food.  For some reason, mass produced slop is called food and we like it.  I know I love their breakfast menu, and the Quarter Pounder is sinfully delicious.  I hate myself for saying that, by the way.  I really feel the need to go to confession, and I'm not Catholic.  Anyway, I really digress here...

That idea was shot down as Elaine stated she was tired of McFood's.  Can't say I blame her, so the Subway idea.  But, I really didn't want that, and she allowed me to make a different choice.  We headed down Hamburger Row (every town has one) and whizzed past Wendy's, The Arches, KFC (Home of Hot and Cold Running Grease), Toxic Belch (Think Outside the Box!), Pizza The Hut, BK, and I pulled into the parking lot of the China Gardent.

Actually, it was the parking lot of the BP gas station because their parking lot is only accesible by going through there.  Really bizarre, but true.  This is where we ended up having dinner.  This is where my search for BEEF took us.  The local Chinese Buffet.  The authenticity of the food makes this as Chinese as Taco Bell represents Mexican food, but there ya go.  And there we were.

I learned something last night.  I've long held the belief that Bacon makes anything better.  Got a cheeseburger?  Throw bacon on it.  Green Beans?  Throw some bacon in there!  Pork 'n Beans?  Flavor them with smoked bacon.  However, I tried something last night that has caused me to rethink this notion.  Shrimp wrapped in bacon.

Ugh!

Not a good idea.  Not on my worst night or your best night.  It just didn't work.  So, don't try that at home.  Stick with L'il Smokies wrapped in bacon if you want to wrap something in bacon-y goodness.  Leave the shrimp to the deep fryer or the ice bath after boiling.

As to the beef I wanted?  I ended up eating chicken...

This is a question designed to get me into serious trouble...

I like to eat.  Take a look at any picture of me taken in the past 15 years and you'll notice that my waist has been expanding.  Food is something I enjoy.  A lot.  Probably too much, to be honest...

We returned from a trip to Canada to see family and to attend the installation service of my cousin, the Reverend Robert Bugbee,  as President of the Lutheran Church of Canada this past Sunday.  I'll write more about that later.

Right now, I wanna talk about food.  Food I ate whilst I was gone away from home and the comforts of said home stomping grounds.  I tried many new things, including Rouladen, Curried Goat and Wiener schnitzel (and no, they weren't using Schnauzer...).  I would not hesitate to eat any of them again.  My aunt fixed up the Rouladen and used us as guinea pigs.  I'll be her culinary Guinea Pig any ol' day...

That is a picture of my wonderful Aunt Vi, and her Rouladen.  Needless to say, we had a marvelous meal.  Another surprise was her cooked carrots.  I've never liked cooked carrots, as I've always  preferred them raw.  However, she did something sneaky good with them, such as cooking them in chicken broth with a touch of sugar.  Yum.  Gotta try that at home.  Actually, gonna try that at home...

As good as the meal was, being able to sit down to dinner with my Aunt, her husband, my Dad and his wife, Grandma Stratton and my own wonderful wife, that was the best.  Hands down, the best.  Even though I've managed at various points in my life to do my darndest to mess up my family relationships, that they still love and forgive me is amazing. 

The night before we had this marvelous dining experience, three of us (Grandma, Elaine and I) trundled off to Al Smith's in Toledo.  I like the place as the food is basic, and always good.  But they have this desert that is simply to die for.  I mean, it is that good.  I shied away from bread pudding for years because the crap they labled as such in the school cafeteria was of the consistency of rubber and were I ever to actually try to eat road kill, I'm fairly certain that this is what it would taste like.  Al Smith's Bread Pudding is something altogether different.  It requires a small dinner in front of it, because they serve it to you in a soup bowl.  Or a salad bowl, or a bowl large enough to go swimming in.  As you can see from the photo, it's ginourmously huge.
I mean, we're not talking any wimpy serving sizes here now are we kids?  No sirree, this is desert for the healthy appettite.  And I do believe they slip some actual whiskey in the sauce that is drizzled (poured?) over it.  All I know is that when I'm done, I have this warm glow...and want to take a nap.
And the other noteworthy culinary adventure entailed trying out a new fast food place on the way up north.  This stop in Indiana was at a place called Skyline Chili.  I'd seen the signs, heard some comments from I forget where, so decided with the consent of my wife, to give it a whirl.  While I enjoyed the food, I thought it was rather expensive and not worth a return visit.  However, I did note that they used a LOT of cheese on the items I ordered.  Which was a Chili 4 Way (on the left) and Coney's (on the other left).  There really is food under the cheese.  One last note about Skyline Chili...if the waitress offers you a bib?  Take one and use it....

























So, I like food.  Thanks to my sister, I have developed a liking for taking pictures of my food.  I try not to wear my food, but sometimes it happens.

Oh yeah, never forget to Try the Veal!

I read several answers and I was surprised by the number of cheesey people and the lack of that staple of pantries everywhere, and the absolute hands down, Food of the Gawds, PEANUT BUTTER!!!!

I mean, has anyone ever written a song about cheese?  No!  They haven't!  What does that tell you?

Peanut butter has a song written about it, and I present the lyrics here for your enjoyment, edification and to create cravings for the most wonderous of foods, Peanut Butter!

(I first heard this song as recorded by the J. Geils Band.  If you don't know who they are, shame on you!)

Peanut Butter - J. Geils Band

There's a food goin' around
That's a sticky, sticky, goo
(Peanut, peanut butter)
A-well, it tastes real good
But it's so hard to chew
(Peanut, peanut butter)

All my friends tell me
That they dig it the mo-ho-ost
(Peanut, peanut butter)
Early in the morning
When they spread it on to-oh-oast
(Peanut, peanut butter)

I like peanut butter
Creamy, peanut butter,
Chunky, peanut butter, too

'Come on now, take a lesson, now!'
(Peanut, peanut butter)

'Open up your jaw, now!'
(Peanut, peanut butter)

'Spread it on your cracker, now!'
(Peanut, peanut butter)

'Stop, now'
(Peanut, peanut butter)

I like peanut butter
Creamy, peanut butter,
Chunky, peanut butter, too

We-eee-ell
I went to a dinner
And-a what did they e-e-eat?
(Peanut, peanut butter)
A-well, I took a big bite
And it stuck to my te-e-eeth
(Peanut, peanut butter)

Now, ev'rybody looks
A-like they've got the mumps
(He loves peanut butter)
Eat his peanut butter
In-a great big hunk
(He loves peanut butter)

I like peanut butter
Creamy, peanut butter
Chunky, peanut butter, too

I like peanut butter
Creamy, peanut butter
Chunky, peanut butter, too.

I've had bacon on the brain today.  No real reason, just craving some bacon.  Which is strange, because I had bacon the other day...

So, in honor of today's obsession, I present this little ode to pork fat.

--------------------------------

Encrusted in pepper
Injected with syrup
Hung so the smoke from some
Hickory will add to
The flavor already divine

If you cook it too fast
It will burn, become brittle
Slow, over low heat
Is the way you should go

You can't rush perfection
For sandwich or breakfast
So plan ahead carefully and
You'll soon see why
That everything is better
With bacon to fry...

The temptation to put a snarky answer such as A dinner plate, a soup bowl and a sandwich plate is overcome by the idea that a food post that doesn't mention bacon, in all of its bacony goodness would be a real waste.

So, with the sound of bacon frying in my mind, and the idea in my head (and the phantom taste on my tongue), I offer these are three "dishes" I could live on/with for the rest of my life....

Bacon and Eggs (with toast and jam/jelly/peanut butter), oranges, steaming mugs of coffee and the occasional bowl of oatmeal.

Pancakes and eggs w/Bacon.  Preferably from the Cracker Barrel as their bacon is divine.

And the last "dish" is my wife.  She's the "dish" for me! 

Did you know that Bacon Is a Vegetable?  It's True!  You can even buy a t-shirt that says so!