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From the One Minute Writer:

Friday Fiction: Breakfast

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He sat there pushing his cup around, the coffee growing cold.  Jim was wondering where Larry was.  For 17 years, they'd had this running breakfast "thing" at the Broadway Diner.  They never formalized it, but it was a part of the routine of both men.  With rare exception, Saturday mornings found them where Jim was, waiting for Larry.

It had all started quite by accident.  Jim had been a regular already.  Took his breakfast by himself, reading the paper.  Larry started coming in regularly and as such, Jim would nod at him either on his way in or out.  That became a brief, "How ya going?" which graduated to, "Mind if I join you?"  Jim still brought the newspaper, but never touched it.  Always left it behind when they left.

They'd never discussed the way things had happened.  That might have changed things between them.  They talked about their lives, dreams, families and solved the problems of the day.  The only nod to the arrangement would be a mention. "I'll be on vacation, so I may not be in next week" and that was it.  They never said "goodbye" but parted with, "See ya..."

It was with this in mind that Jim sat there wondering what was keeping Larry.  His reverie was deeper than he thought because the gentle hand on his shoulder startled him.  It caused him to slosh his coffee.  He was grateful it has gone cold at that moment.

Looking to his right, he saw a woman about his own age.  She looked at him with a sad smile on her face, "You must be Jim."

"Yes..." he allowed.

"Well Jim, I'm Norma.  Larry's wife.  He has spoken of you often over the years such that I feel as if I know you and you're my own dear friend.  Which is why it pains me to tell you..." and here her voice caught.

"Why don't you sit down, Norma."  Jim invited, waving to the vacant seat. 

As soon as she was seated, and had a cup of hot coffee in front of her, she looked a Jim with that sad smile. She opened her mouth to speak, but Jim interrupted, "Larry won't be coming down here anymore, will he?"

"No. He won't" a small voice responded.

Jim thought for a moment, "Let's order us some breakfast, alright?"
 

I love me some bagels.  Have for years.  Mostly I had the choice between 'Egg' bagels and 'Plain' bagels.

As bagel munchage has become more widespread, more variety has been introduced into the bagel equation.  Vegetable bagels, whole wheat bagels, onion bagels, strawberry swirl bagels, french toast bagels, you get the idea...

I has a new favorite.  Because the entire bagel experience is enhanced due to their marvelous awesome bagel-ee goodness!

I'm talking about: Lemon Poppy Seed bagels!

Elaine found some and brought them home a while ago.  Gotta tell you, that act alone is worthy of enshrinement in the 'Cool Wife' Hall of Fame, but I digress.

The pleasure starts when you take that first step of opening the bag.  Lemony/Poppy Seedy goodness wafts over you as the aroma explodes out of the bag.  You become engulfed in an invisible cloud of sensory overload.  This effect is only enhanced if you toast them.

There are few bagels that aren't improved by putting cream cheese on them.  Come to that, there are few things in life that aren't improved with cream cheese...but, I digress.  Again.   These bagels are one of those things.  Toasted, warm, and crunchy.  They are pleasure enough all by their very lonesome.

I suggest that you hie thyself to yon Supermarket and procure some of these delectables today with great haste!!

The weekend was full of activity and laziness.  All things being equal, it was a good weekend.  Yesterday, laundry got done, some packing for our upcoming trip to see family was done, I cooked meat on the grill for both lunch and dinner yesterday.  And we Saved Big Money At Menards! buying a new trash can (YAY!) weed killer and plant food (WEE!) and other stuff. 

I cleaned the van out of several months worth of junk, trash and reusable grocery sacks, also in preperation of our upcoming trip.  So, that was a good thing.

But the highlight of the weekend was Pie.  Elaine made APPLE PIE from scratch! (poor scratch)





















Man, that pie was good.  Got a piece for lunch....

It really is the little things in life that are wonderful.

I got hold of some Army issue MRE's and had one for lunch.

Just another reason to thank a Serviceman when you see one.  Them things is so....bland.

However, they are a boatload better than Dehydrated food you buy for camping.  Out in the boondocks, miles away from McDonald's, where it's you and Smokey the Bear and a small creek, they are jim-dandy fine.  Eaten at home on the comfort of your own couch, they taste worse than last week's ashes.  Yuck!

I've eaten shark (boring), snake (eh...), buffalo (yum!), and years ago, deep fried silk worms (crunchy!)

Around here, the fact that I eat sushi makes me suspect to many of my friends.

Turns out it was worse than I anticipated.  the MoviPrep, I mean.  Disgusting would have been an improvement.  Hell, revolting would have been an improvement.  Don't tell my doctor, but I was so grossed out by this stuff, and I poured my last dose down the drain.  Couldn't do it to myself.  The other parts of the prep (too much time in the bathroom and constant rumbly tumbly) are to be expected and while a nuisance, weren't onerous.  The crap I took to make me crap?  Should be outlawed.

There is something fundamentally wrong about longing for Fleet Enema solution, but it's been removed from the market due to idiot doctors giving it out like candy.  Seems if you're not careful, Fleet could cause Renal Failure.  Oops!  Let's face it, there are some doctors who just don't pay attention or do the work needed and just prescribe.  Idiots...

I slept poorly.  The sound effects from my middle woke me up a time or three.  I had to get up early this morning, forgo breakfast and drink MORE of this overpriced, foul tasting swill and spend more time in the loo.

I get to the Endoscopy Center and everybody there is all sunshine and flowers.  Which is okay, but I'm a little grumpy.  Being hungry and drained will do that to a person.  Add in having to drink 2 liters of something that tastes like paint thinner, and I'm just Sammy Sunshine.  Feh!

I get ready, laid out on a rolling bed (we used to call them gurney's) and was wheeled in to the room for the procedure.  The Gas Passer was a nice guy who didn't use gas.  He called it a martini and I believe I had too meeny martooni's because I fell asleep in the middle of a sentence.  We were talking about the Mizzou basketball team beating Oklahoma last night.  I saw bits and pieces of it.  For obvious reasons, I tried not to think of dribbling.  *ahem!*  

Next thing I know, they're done and handing me grape juice.  Hot tea and toast would have been better, I imagine.  Still, I got to lounge around on the hot rod gurney for a bit, got dressed and Elaine took me to IHOP for breakfast.  I did myself proud and put away pancakes and eggs.  Skipped the bacon.  Don't need the grease, dontcha know.  ;-)

I'm home resting, and since I was knocked out I am not supposed to drive, ride a motorcycle, mow the lawn or sign legal documents today.  So, no...I don't want to buy a bridge in New York today.  Call me tomorrow.

I'm getting quite the bacon-y rep around here.  People associate me with the hammy, fatty goodness that is bacon.  I'm not sure whether to be flattered or embarrassed.  I guess I'll be proud and just get on with it...

So, have you seen or heard of Baconnaise?  It's basically bacon flavored mayonnaise.  They believe that everything should taste like bacon.  Sentiments I can heartily get behind.  And, they claim it's vegetarian safe!!  They also sell Bacon salt and something I might get for my wife; bacon lip balm.

OK, maybe not.


Something every bacon dreamer needs is a bacon pillow, or the Stuffed Bacon.  I'm glad it's not a greasy pillow!

Should you have a sweet tooth, have no fear.  Some idiots decided that combining bacon, maple and a stick was a good idea.   You can now purchase over-priced Maple-Bacon Lollipops to assuage your sweet/hammy tooth flavor fetish.  4 for $10?  Are they stoned or stupid? 

Finally, unless you've been living under a stump or just plain don't care (*GASP!*) there is this tremendous fat bomb/vein clogging recipe called the Bacon Explosion.  I read about it on the New York Times web site.  You can too.

Yet another in a series of all things bacon.

Last night, Elaine and I had a commitment right after work, so we didn't get a chance to eat our dinner until close to 7 o'clock.  Needless to say, we were close to famished.  We had made plans to go to Subway (Eat Fresh!), but I sort of got cold feet.  I didn't want a wimpy sandwich.  I wanted beef (It's what's for dinner!).  Meat.  I wanted something substantial for dinner (read: Cheeseburger & Fries), not a sammich.

So, we talked it over and Elaine told me, "Go where you want."  I love/hate that answer.  It's permission to get into trouble is what it is.  It's an invitation to see what kind of mood she is in and decide where she wants to go.  It's also what it says.  She doesn't really care, go where you want.  I just never know which it is.

That morning I had initially suggested that we go to McNasty's for preformed goo they call food.  For some reason, mass produced slop is called food and we like it.  I know I love their breakfast menu, and the Quarter Pounder is sinfully delicious.  I hate myself for saying that, by the way.  I really feel the need to go to confession, and I'm not Catholic.  Anyway, I really digress here...

That idea was shot down as Elaine stated she was tired of McFood's.  Can't say I blame her, so the Subway idea.  But, I really didn't want that, and she allowed me to make a different choice.  We headed down Hamburger Row (every town has one) and whizzed past Wendy's, The Arches, KFC (Home of Hot and Cold Running Grease), Toxic Belch (Think Outside the Box!), Pizza The Hut, BK, and I pulled into the parking lot of the China Gardent.

Actually, it was the parking lot of the BP gas station because their parking lot is only accesible by going through there.  Really bizarre, but true.  This is where we ended up having dinner.  This is where my search for BEEF took us.  The local Chinese Buffet.  The authenticity of the food makes this as Chinese as Taco Bell represents Mexican food, but there ya go.  And there we were.

I learned something last night.  I've long held the belief that Bacon makes anything better.  Got a cheeseburger?  Throw bacon on it.  Green Beans?  Throw some bacon in there!  Pork 'n Beans?  Flavor them with smoked bacon.  However, I tried something last night that has caused me to rethink this notion.  Shrimp wrapped in bacon.

Ugh!

Not a good idea.  Not on my worst night or your best night.  It just didn't work.  So, don't try that at home.  Stick with L'il Smokies wrapped in bacon if you want to wrap something in bacon-y goodness.  Leave the shrimp to the deep fryer or the ice bath after boiling.

As to the beef I wanted?  I ended up eating chicken...

I like to eat.  Take a look at any picture of me taken in the past 15 years and you'll notice that my waist has been expanding.  Food is something I enjoy.  A lot.  Probably too much, to be honest...

We returned from a trip to Canada to see family and to attend the installation service of my cousin, the Reverend Robert Bugbee,  as President of the Lutheran Church of Canada this past Sunday.  I'll write more about that later.

Right now, I wanna talk about food.  Food I ate whilst I was gone away from home and the comforts of said home stomping grounds.  I tried many new things, including Rouladen, Curried Goat and Wiener schnitzel (and no, they weren't using Schnauzer...).  I would not hesitate to eat any of them again.  My aunt fixed up the Rouladen and used us as guinea pigs.  I'll be her culinary Guinea Pig any ol' day...

That is a picture of my wonderful Aunt Vi, and her Rouladen.  Needless to say, we had a marvelous meal.  Another surprise was her cooked carrots.  I've never liked cooked carrots, as I've always  preferred them raw.  However, she did something sneaky good with them, such as cooking them in chicken broth with a touch of sugar.  Yum.  Gotta try that at home.  Actually, gonna try that at home...

As good as the meal was, being able to sit down to dinner with my Aunt, her husband, my Dad and his wife, Grandma Stratton and my own wonderful wife, that was the best.  Hands down, the best.  Even though I've managed at various points in my life to do my darndest to mess up my family relationships, that they still love and forgive me is amazing. 

The night before we had this marvelous dining experience, three of us (Grandma, Elaine and I) trundled off to Al Smith's in Toledo.  I like the place as the food is basic, and always good.  But they have this desert that is simply to die for.  I mean, it is that good.  I shied away from bread pudding for years because the crap they labled as such in the school cafeteria was of the consistency of rubber and were I ever to actually try to eat road kill, I'm fairly certain that this is what it would taste like.  Al Smith's Bread Pudding is something altogether different.  It requires a small dinner in front of it, because they serve it to you in a soup bowl.  Or a salad bowl, or a bowl large enough to go swimming in.  As you can see from the photo, it's ginourmously huge.
I mean, we're not talking any wimpy serving sizes here now are we kids?  No sirree, this is desert for the healthy appettite.  And I do believe they slip some actual whiskey in the sauce that is drizzled (poured?) over it.  All I know is that when I'm done, I have this warm glow...and want to take a nap.
And the other noteworthy culinary adventure entailed trying out a new fast food place on the way up north.  This stop in Indiana was at a place called Skyline Chili.  I'd seen the signs, heard some comments from I forget where, so decided with the consent of my wife, to give it a whirl.  While I enjoyed the food, I thought it was rather expensive and not worth a return visit.  However, I did note that they used a LOT of cheese on the items I ordered.  Which was a Chili 4 Way (on the left) and Coney's (on the other left).  There really is food under the cheese.  One last note about Skyline Chili...if the waitress offers you a bib?  Take one and use it....

























So, I like food.  Thanks to my sister, I have developed a liking for taking pictures of my food.  I try not to wear my food, but sometimes it happens.

Oh yeah, never forget to Try the Veal!