ying_ko_4

I forgot to ask you Mark.

How are you today? I know, totally random.

That's me...totally random...

So, you're random today? Hey, me too!

A shifting kaleidoscope of permanence deceives me.
It mocks me. I am fooled.
You watch me in my one-eyed fascination
and know the truth.
It is self contained, this illusion.
The unchanging truth is plain for everyone else to see.
It sings a lie to me,
"See what art and beauty you are creating."
When all the while,
with every turn,
I am just rearranging the brokenness.

*claps*

I like the way you say what you're saying here, but I'm not crazy about the message you're putting out there.

You created something wonderful with this, which means that there song you is-a hearin' is a lyin' to you...

Think on that fer a spell.

(Great work!)

A shifting kaleidoscope of permanence deceives me
Can this be only illusion I see
I have built my house upon this sand
Build it well with my own strong hand

I had planned and struggled for years
Taken good council from my fears
The keep is high, the moat is wide
I have made this place in which to hide

But daylight breaks and I perceive
That from within I cannot leave
That in the end I did not win
My walls serve only to keep me in

I would hardly call that a poor followup. That was quite good. I like the rhyming scheme, something I am so not good at doing.

*Claps*

Thank you Mark, but I think you would agree that so far Mardeen is way out front. I loved the way she kept hammering the kaleidoscope image throughout the poem. I spun off from it and went along. However, she kept firmly to the basic image. I think that is much harder. I usually do OK at making little rhymes. It is that darn content(Grin). I just realized that the fear of being bonked by Beth has cleaned up my language somewhat. I suspect that is a good thing. (Grin # 2)

Marsha's poem was quite good. However, I wasn't thinking of this as a competition, but more of a challenge and a chance to see what others will come up with when presented with the same idea.

Beth, The Mad Bonker, has been keeping a tight grip on the Paper Towel Tube of Wrath of late...

I did not mean to present it as a competition; I was only attempting to highlight her work and what I found the most impressive about it. I thought hers very disciplined which is something I have problems with in my own work.

Ok....

*BONKS* self...so Beth doesn't have to.

That's considerate of you, but it's really no trouble:

BONK

You are a wise man. I loved the poem, too.

I enjoyed this, Paul. The rhyme is very pleasing. That takes skill. And the content is not lacking. You made a very cogent statement. In the absence of a paper towel roll, I will just say, rather sternly, you are not allowed to disparage your abilities. So stop it. *big, sweet grin*

Yeah! What she said!

Thank you kindly Ma'am, your kind words are appreciated. However, from strictly an analytical standpoint point your keeping to the point of the first line was more difficult than twisting the subject to make a rhyme. I must say though i do enjoy basking in your grin.

Me and my evil keyboard. Bawdy Bookstore Wenches Unite!


A shifting kaleidoscope of permanence deceives me
The colors have stopped spinning wild and free
In brightness of dreams, things meant to be,
Leaving behind my failures damned into infamy.

Here where once my young gaze afixed would find
Jumbled joys of youth's fresh hope entwined,
Now lay the burdens of an adult seemingly blind
Trapped within the culture of a structured mind.

How lost those great "sure things" became
As the pictures behind the glass gained a name,
Something to live up to, no choice to abstain,
To leave the illusion, a shell lost and insane.

Captive, yet do I wait a soldier staid and true
Twilight paints the stormy skies darkest greys with blue
Hope remains not all has changed within a jaided view,
My raging storms have come and now have all passed thorough.

Becks, this is great stuff. The imagery and writing is wonderfully done. I really like the meter and rhythm of this.

*Claps*