It undoubtedly would have to be when I singlehandedly saved the world from total destruction by staving off a massive invasion of the Interstellar Menace, the Ain T'real.

Quick thinking, a radio tuned to Bob & Tom convinced them this planet had nothing but idiots with marshmallow stuffing between their ears and a 50 pound bag of sweet potatoes...I would have had them listen to Rush Limbaugh, but I didn't want them thinking we were crazy AND stupid....

Too bad it's a secret and I can't tell anyone...

The following appeared in my Inbox this morning. It is still amazing to me, that in a world so full of information and ways to check bullshit like this out, that people are still so fearful of anyone different that this sort of shit would be accepted at face value, complete with hypocrisy glaze...
---------
Been around before but maybe a good reminder.


Which means once or twice around the Intertubes isn't enough to spread lies and hatred, preying upon the ignorance of scared people.

After what happened at Ft. Hood this email seemed very appropriate. The shooter, a ‘Muslim’ soldier,
had been talking to another ‘Muslim’ that worked at a convenience store and told him that he didn’t want to be
deployed because he couldn’t shoot his fellow ‘Muslims’. It evidently didn’t matter how many Americans they had killed.

And my question is had the Fort Hood shooter been an enraged Baptist, Methodist or Quaker, who wanted the war to stop, would we even be having this conversation? I think not. I believe there would be a discussion more centered on how somebody so obviously mentally ill was allowed to advance in the Military. While there has been some of this in the media, most ignorant and scared people latch onto the fact that the alleged shooter is Muslim and therefore hates all God Fearin' 'Mericans...

CAN MUSLIMS BE GOOD AMERICANS?

This makes me wonder, can bigoted, ignorant Right Wing Ultra Conservatives be 'Good Americans?' Can Ultra Left Wing Liberals be 'Good Americans?' Also, it makes me wonder what makes a Good American? How does one become a 'Good American?'

This is very interesting! We all need to read it from start to finish.....and send it on to anyone who will read it.

I will say that I am sorry that I did read this....

Maybe this is why our American Muslims are so quiet and not speaking out about any atrocities.

Maybe this is why many so-called 'Good Americans' are idiots...

Can a good Muslim be a good American?

This question was forwarded to a friend who worked in Saudi Arabia for 20 years.

Something I highly doubt...but hey, anything is possible.


The following is his reply:

Theologically - no. . . . Because his allegiance is to Allah, The moon God of Arabia.

What is a 'Moon God?' Allah is a monotheistic god, not one of many. Allah is considered to be the name of G*d to Muslims. It appears that the original bigoted idiot who wrote this was attempting to marginalize Islam in the same way others try to marginalize Christianity by referring to the Savior as 'Zombie Jesus' That, and somebody has been getting their information from Jack Chick's cartoons...

Religiously - no. . . . Because no other religion is accepted by His Allah except Islam
(Quran, 2:256) (Koran).

The First of the Ten Commandments, for both Jews and Christians says, "I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. You shall have no other gods before Me." Exodus 22:2-3

Which says that those of the Jewish or Christian faith are to accept no other gods or religions except those. Yet, that is somehow okay...according to the writer of this piece.

scripturally - no. . . . Because his allegiance is to the five Pillars of Islam and the Quran

Does this even make sense? What are the Five Pillars of Islam, anyhow?
The 'Five Pillars' of Islam are the foundation of Muslim life:

• Faith or belief in the Oneness of God and the finality of the prophethood of Muhammad;
• Establishment of the daily prayers;
• Concern for and almsgiving to the needy;
• Self-purification through fasting; and
• The pilgrimage to Mecca for those who are able.

I don't see anything here that says anything about not being a 'Good American' or a 'Good' anything else, for that matter.

Geographically - no. . .Because his allegiance is to Mecca , to which he turns in prayer five times a day.

Hmmm....I seem to remember that people said the same thing about Catholics years ago, that their allegiance was to Rome. Which is as much bushwah as this is

Socially - no. . . . Because his allegiance to Islam forbids him to make friends with Christians or Jews..

ROTFLMAO This is ludicrous on the face of it. Just sheer bigotry and lunacy. But, don't let that stop you from sounding like a fool.

Politically - no. . . . Because he must submit to the mullahs (spiritual leaders), who teach annihilation
of Israel and destruction of America, the great Satan.

Um...that would be extremist clerics only, and not all Muslim clerics are Mullahs. Somebody's ignorance is showing big time here. Islam clerics are also called Iman's (such as the one who lead the congregation where the alleged Fort Hood shooter spoke to for guidance)

Look people, it would not take any longer than 15-20 minutes to read a little bit about Islam to get a much better understanding of it than this idiot has...

Domestically - no. . . . Because he is instructed to marry four women and beat and scourge his wife
when she disobeys him (Quran 4:34).

AMuslim man has the choice of having up to four wives. Why any man would want more than one is beyond me...and it appears that even amongst Muslims there is a great debate as to what that particular passage actually means.

Oh, and then there are these pesky truths from the Bible;

"You will be eager for your husband and he will rule over you" -Genesis 3:16

"Wives be subservient to your husbands" -Ephesians 5:22

Truth can be such a buzzkill....

Intellectually - no. . . . Because he cannot accept the American Constitution since it is based on Biblical
principles, and he believes the Bible to be corrupt.

I dunno what history book this whacko has been reading, but the Constitution is not based on strict Biblical Principles. This is a fiction.
I mean, is it Biblical to count "all other Persons" as three-fifths of a person? Thanks be to G*d for the 14th Amendment...

Philosophically - no. . . . Because Islam, Muhammad, and the Quran do not allow freedom of religion and
expression. Democracy and Islam cannot co-exist. Every Muslim government is either dictatorial or autocratic.

Jordan is a Constitutional Monarchy, and Parliment can veto the Kind. Egypt is a democracy.

Next!

Spiritually - no. . . . Because when we declare "one nation under God," the Christian's God is loving and kind,
while Allah is NEVER referred to as Heavenly father, nor is he ever called love in The Quran's 99 excellent names.

Tell that to the victims who died in wars fought in the name of G*d. How much love and mercy did they show to non-believers?

And doesn't that same Pledge of Allegiance speak of "Liberty and Justice for All?" All seems to mean to me more than just 'Good Americans'

They obviously cannot be both "good" Muslims and good Americans.

* * * Call it what you wish; it's still the truth.

Un, no it's not. It's racist bullshit, heavily laced with lies and deceit. Take your Klan pillowcase off, fool.

* * * You had better believe it.

Thanks, I'll pass. Truth is stronger than bullshit fiction like this.

* * * The more who understand this, the better it will be for our country and our future. The religious war is bigger
than we know or understand.

That's right. It's Us Agin Them...and the Them is different from Us, so we must DEFEAT them...

Feh. Idiots...

I have passed the 30,000 word plateau. Today I am sitting at 32,000 and change. Roughly 128 printed pages, but only 80-some if it appeared in a paperback book. This little statistic, more than anything else, is very depressing to me. I've been sweating, straining, and forging ahead on this story, feeling like it was a novel...only to find out that this is roughly a novella...

And in looking things over, I can see why. I have focused so much on the main characters, that there is nothing else. Just the plot points and very focused character development. Throw away characters have nothing more than names, stage entrances and exits. Most don't even have dialogue. In fact, it seems there is a dearth of dialogue in places...lots of prose. I struggle with writing compelling dialogue. At least to my mind, I do.

Anyway, here's an excerpt

Oh well, onward is the driving force of NaNoWriMo. Write crap if you must, but write. I think I'm going to tuck some in-between chapters in and see what happens...

Between goofing off, football, goofing off and being easily distracted, my writing goal for the weekend was missed.

I really wanted to hit the 30,000 plateau by the end of my writing time yesterday, but it didn't happen. I only managed to get to 29,300 some and was just too tired to go any more. Mine eyes were gritty with weariness, bones were tired...and that was probably from the fab dinner Elaine fixed.

I have a soft spot for Jenny-O Turkey Roasts. I mean, for all I know they make them from stuff they sweep off the floor. I know not and care less. Anyhow, every so often one of those bad boys sounds good. With mashed potatoes and green beans. Yum!

I have a mystery turkey meat sammich for lunch today and maybe, I'll get to my writing goal.

What a great weekend for my sports teams!

• Ohio State clinched a trip to the Rose Bowl by downing Iowa
• Missouri beat Kansas State, in Manhattan, KS. First time a Coach Gary Pinkel lead team beat a Coach Bill Snyder lead K-State.
• Green Bay beat the Dallas Cowboys, which means my favorite two teams won this weekend in the NFL.
  
  • What's that? My two favorite teams in the NFL. Oh, that's easy...my Favorite team is the Packers. My second favorite is whoever is playing the Cowboys. See how that works?
• And...my old High School's football team won their playoff game which sends them to the Class 2 Semi-final game next Saturday. Win that and they go to the State Championship game, which they last won in 2003.

Honorable Mention goes to the Former Bungles of Cincinatti who beat the Steelers, sweeping the season series from them. Not to mention the Ravens. I don't like the Ravens, don't care much about the Steelers and like to see success stories.


Yay teams!

I vividly remember hearing "Rapper's Delight" for the first time back at "World of Wheels" roller rink in Ann Arbor, MI. Having an avowed aversion to Disco at the time (at least publicly. Privately, I had 'Knock on Wood' and 'Ring My Bell' on 45 rpm record...), I totally missed the song 'Good Times' by Chic, so hearing the funky rhythm track and great groove on this new song with people Rhyming to the beat was totally new to me.

So, nothing to do I had to get a copy of it. Which I did. At Musicland in the Briarwood Mall. I rode my bike clean across town, and across a couple of majorly heavy traffic roads to get there. Heck, I-94 was nearby, couple that with a mall and other business in the area. It was about 4 miles or so from our house, which for a kid on a bike wasn't all that far.

I was surprised that there wasn't a 45 of the song, just a 12 Inch Single. Never was a 45, I found out years later. Over 14 minutes on one side and an edited version on the flip side. I paid something like $3.50 for the record, more than a 45, but less than an LP. With that record tucked under my arm, I road back home and learned the words to that song as fast as I could.

I used to know all the words, and could recite them without the record to prompt me. Sort of like reciting poetry, but with a beat you could bug out to...or just dance. We had no idea at the time that this sort of music would ultimately become so popular the world over and such an influence on popular culture. We just thought it was a cool record that was fun to listen to.

It sure looked out of place in my record collection amongst the BTO, Boston, Ted Nugent and Beatles. Who cared...I liked it.

Musicland is gone now, all of them. Closed down recently as the company went bankrupt and malls fell out of favor as the ultimate shopping destinations, and it's been years since most record stores actually sold records. Although, I was pleased to see familiar record bins with new records at the local shop...now, if only I had a turntable...

And I have this on the Side Bar to the left...in case you're interested....

The goal is getting closer!

Today is Veterans Day.  A day when we should pause a moment and reflect about the great many sacrifices many have made over the years.  Not just those who Gave All for our freedoms, but those who trained them, those who fed them, those who tended the wounded, and those who stayed behind.

Sometimes never to see their loved ones again.

My grandfathers both were involved in the war effort.  My maternal grandfather was an Ordinance Instructor, and held the rank of Captain when he mustered out.  My paternal grandfather went to enlist, and when it was realized what he did for a living was considered a vital job for the war effort, he was given the choice of going home to his wife and family or joining the army and being sent to his current job and sleeping at a barracks at night.  He stayed home.  From what my father has told me, he felt a little guilty about it at the time.

Thank you, Veterans.  Thank you, you who are serving now.  Thank you, those who wait and have kept waiting.  Keep those home fires burning.

• Hey, Wednesday! Hump Day! Halfway there! Woo-Hoo!
• Word count this morning is over 17,000. Will be hitting 20,000 in a couple of days. No bleeding fingers yet.
• I love stories like this one.
  
  • Woman's stolen VW Van found 35 years later  I hope the insurance company works things out for her to get that van back.
    
• Seems like MLB has decided that after a Playoff Season and World Series with more blown calls than broken political promises, they still don't need to add more Instant Replay.  All I can say is that I am glad they aren't in charge of anything truly important.  Because the GM's are full of Major League Fail as far as I'm concerned.
  
• And finally, isn't "Thirteen" by Big Star as close to the perfect song as you're going to get?  Give it a listen....

</div></div>
Thirteen - Big Star</div>

ROSEBUD, BITCHES!!!!














(wondering how many will actually get the reference....)

It has become a grind.  The giddy feelings of the first couple of days have been replaced with the knowledge that getting ahead in the word count is short-lived.  As quickly as that happens and you rest on your laurels, you can get behind and playing catch up isn't nearly as fun or exhilarating as being ahead of the curve. 

And this is one of those writing exercises where the goal is quantity.   No other motives for writing than pounding out a big ol' pile of words that resemble a story.  I have a strong desire to create something I can work with in revision when this is all over, so that makes this more workmanlike that I had originally envisioned.

On the plus side, using 'Scrivener' has been a real bonus.  Being able to work on different parts of the overall project and not write in sequential order has allowed me to adjust the flow of the plot or the overall plot in general on the fly without sacrificing anything I've created.  In other words, I get to have 'better ideas' after I've penned something and still use what is already there.

Naturally, I have now created some serious plot discrepancies or internal continuity issues.  Mainly to do with timing of events, but the overall flow makes more logical sense.  At least to me.  And having notes in the Scrivener file/binder has been very useful.  AND, as an added bonus, by being a NaNo winner, I'll be able to buy the program for a discount.  Since this has turned to be a practical writing tool, I'm excited about this.  And it gives me a bit more incentive to actually slam out more words.

The story is coming along, and I can already see benefits of this project.  I may not actually do anything with this, even after revision, but at the least it has given me an appreciation of the work that goes into a novel, that ideas keep coming even after you start with a fair idea of where you are going and that this is not a bad thing.

Onward!

It amazes me that as cold as it was last month, that it was over 70 today.  In November.  El Nino is messing up our weather patterns big time.  Not that I'm complaining.  Turning the furnace off in November is always a reason to celebrate.

My friend Greg and I took the day off of work today and headed out on our Gold Wings for a ride around the central part of the State of Missouri.  Today our goal was Sedalia, home of the State Fair and the Wheel Inn, home of the Guberburger.  Which, contrary to Facebook belief has nothing to do with Mayberry or goobers.  It is a famous concoction is what it is.  It is your basic All-American Hamburger, with Lettuce, Tomato, Mayo and Peanut Butter.  I don't like the mayo, so I ask them to keep to themselves.  (The photo is of the old location that closed a couple of years ago...it was reopened by new owners earlier this year...)

They are wonderful.  Absolutely wonderful treats.  Since I like, love peanut butter, this seems like an ideal match to me.  It makes me kinda/sorta think of Thai food...sort of.  It's the whole peanut thing, I'm sure.

Say, it also makes me think of Mary Jane's candy!  Oh, Nom Nom Nom!  My favorite part of Halloween season!  Elaine always buys me a bag of those peanut butter and molasses candies.  Sheer sugary bliss.

The trip over was on some of my favorite motorcycle riding roads.  Hills, curves and such.  Lots to look at, and the sky was just the deepest blue, and it wasn't too hot.  Then, we got to California (MO....really!) and got onto Highway 50.  Which they are in the process of slowly turning into another boring 4 lane highway.  So, construction slowed us down for a little bit.  But, I did have a good laugh.

There's this little spur road that is probably about a quarter of a mile long, if that.  It's from the original Highway 50, as some years ago they moved the road alignment and straightened this part out.  So, the old part is marked Old Hwy 50.  Which made me wonder when they finish building the 4 lane section of 50, will they name what is now Old 50 and if they do, will they then name Old 50, Ancient 50?

You think of the damndest things when you haven't got anyone to talk to.  Especially on a pretty day, on a motorcycle in November. 

After hitting the Harley shop in Sedalia (Greg's other motorcycle is a Harley...and did you know that HD doesn't really stand for Harley-Davidson?  That's right, it really means Hundred Dollars because that's what most everything will cost you...Hundred Dollars...), we headed for home.

When we got to I-70, the wind was blowing from the South.  Which is important to note as we were heading East.  I failed to mention that the wind blowing from the South was blowing HARD!  Passing a semi was more interesting as a result.  The minute we'd pull away from the truck, *wham!* goes the wind, and you feel like you're going to fall over to your left.  It doesn't happen, but it made that last part of the ride more like work and less like fun.  Still, a great day to not be at work and out goofing off.

Which is exactly what I did.  YaY for days off!

Another year, another World Series, and another Champion$hip for the Yankee$.

For the record, I don't begrudge the Yankee$ their well played and hard won Champion$hip this season.  They played hard, played well and battled back from a dismal beginning of the season.  I remember there being rumors or speculation that Yankee$ manager Joe Girardi would be/could be/should be fired.

There are those who will say the Yankee$ bought the World $eries this year.  They may have, as they spent close to a Half Billion dollars in off-season Free Agent signings.  It might not have been that expensive but for the bidding war with the Bo$ton Red $ox who go after the same players so the Yankee$ won't get them.  And have you ever noticed that when a Big Player is on the trading block or free agent market, those two teams are always in the discussion due to their ability to cough up large amounts of cold, hard, highly paid balllpayer cash?

But for all the charges of the Yankee$ buying the series this year, they did bring up a few of their players through the minors, players that they drafted and developed on their own.  Their free agent signings were additions, not saviors.  Even if they did cost enough to settle the debt of some companies at the Bailout trough.

There is a part of me that would love to see a more reasonable way of ensuring competitive balance, so that teams like the Minnesota Twins will not just make the playoffs, but have a chance to actually beat the Yankee$ or Red $ox.  Teams who can, have and will again make horrible mistakes on free agent signings (Kevin Brown, anyone?).

Yet, I look at the NFL and their enforced parity and what I see is a competitive balance that is a result of widespread mediocrity in the league.  There are few, if any, great teams in the NFL.  The Patriots over the course of this decade are the exception and not the rule.  Still, they have flaws in their overall game.  The Steelers, for all their recent success, haven't been able to put two great seasons together.  And we also have a lack of teams going to the Super Bowl in consecutive years of late.

Sort of like Major League Baseball.

It has always been fashionable to bash on the Yankee$ for their deep pockets, willingness to throw $$$ at ballplayers and make fiscal mistakes that would ruin other franchises.  It is all a part of the commitment to the franchise that the Yankee$ owner has made over the years.  Whether I like it, or not.

So, congrat$ to the Yankee$.  They got their money's worth this season.  And then some.

While I was waiting for the baloney in the World Series pregame to finish, I watched some of a United Football League football game on VS.  It was an interesting experience.  The Las Vegas Locos (Locomotives) were playing the New York Sentinels in an almost empty stadium on the Hofstra campus.  A few thoughts and observations.

Simeon Rice, former NFL standout was playing for the New York.  According to ESPN, he's listed as a Colt.  Whoops!

The punter for the New York Sentinels, one Scott Player, was wearing one bar on his helmet.  And it was aimed way, way down.  A sight I hadn't seen in many years.  And will never see on another player as the NFL has a rule against them now.

The level of play was about what I expected.  Ragged, would be a good word for it.  And that's because of the set-up.  There is only one GM for the league.  The teams uniforms are all styled the same, with different colors.  They don't appear to have individual owners of teams, but a group that owns the league as a whole.

I like the concept of a fall league that doesn't aim to take on the NFL, and only charges around $20 or so for a ticket.  Makes it affordable.  Still, with the sheer number of empty seats in NYC, they need to do a better job of marketing.  It almost looked like there were more people involved with the football game, than fans.

I hope they succeed, but I have my doubts.

Oh, and anyone who wondered what became of J.P. Losman?  He's a Loco....

So, I've been dealing with this wretched headache the past couple of days.  Yesterday, I felt all hungover and I hadn't been drinking.  Talk about disappointed and annoying.  Ugh.  Middle of the night, stomach cramps made themselves known.  Nausea, but no vomiting and I turned down a breakfast burrito from Sonic this morning.  That's just not me...

So, Chase Utley...is he amazing or what?  Yep.  Amazing.  Gets my vote for WS MVP.  Ryan Howard?  The Whiff King this World Series.  His high number of strikeouts is Exhibit A as to why I hate non-contact hitters.  The only good thing about a strikeout with a runner on base is you remove the double play.  Putting the ball in play has more upside that flailing around like a lumberjack who has had three too many.

I'm glad that Packers/Vi-Queens games are over.  Maybe the Packers will unclench and play some football.  In two games, Favre and the 'Queens carved up the Packers like a Thanksgiving Turkey.  Hey, can the Packers play Cleveland again?

Urban Meyer is a putz.  What a loser as a leader.  Brandon Spikes gouges the EYE of an opposing player, and Putzie Meyer suspends Spikes for the First Half of the next game.  And the idiot SEC Commish shows the same lack of class by rubber stamping it.  Good thing nobody on the Gators carped about the officiating.  Seriously, if somebody gouged Tim Tebow in the eye, all hell would be breaking loose...right?

I'm tired, it's Tuesday, the sun is shining, I'm in the basement at work, I have no doughnuts and three and half more days until the weekend.

Hit it!

I hope to G*d that I don't feel compelled to record every stinking moment of this project, but I want to write a bit about the process I have adopted for this.  Because, I had real misgivings about being able to construct an entire linear story of great length.  My strength is vignettes, short bits and short stories.  That, I'm good at those things.  At least from the standpoint of being able to finish what I set out to write.

As I was poking around the NaNo web site, one of the special offers was for a program called Scrivener.  Catchy title and appropriate because this is designed for writers.   It is more than a word processor, but not loaded with all manner of stuff I don't need.  And best of all, I can write small sections, vignettes or scenes and then stitch them all together later.

So, I will be constructing a novel, building it from smaller pieces assembled before hand.  Because, isn't a novel or novella just a series of small sections?  Put together later?  I realize that I am not reinventing the wheel, as other authors do this.  But, for me, it was a revelation.

So, with that in mind, I got over 3,000 words on my first day by writing in small chunks, and for short periods of time.  We'll see how long I can keep this up, but for today I am content. 

I went to the NaNo Write-In to get an early start on things last night.  The Write-In was held at the Country Kitchen (fondly remembered as the Bitchin' Kitchen in my drinking days) and people strolled in from 11 pm and things got underway at Midnight Sharp commencing with a "Word War" which is a writing sprint for 10 minutes or so.  At the end, everyone hollers out their word total.  Not surprisingly, the 18 year old kid won. 

The guy next to me was writing long hand.  Turns out this is what he's always done and he has a speech recognition program that he reads it all into. 

I left fairly early, mainly because of lap top batter suckage.  It didn't totally die, but close enough.  I was also a little stumped about "What Happens Next" but I managed to suss that out on the way home,  so I banged that out.  I'll be writing off and on today as I really want to build up some word count now, or at the very least, not get behind on the first day.

The "Participant" badge is also a direct link to my NaNo page.  My word count will be updated at the end of each writing session, so it should be current.  If you're interested, that is.

A few more hours and my creative energies will be focused on doing something I have never attempted before with any luck.  To wit, writing an extended piece of fiction.  I hesitate to call this a novel at this point because all it is at present is a loose collection of ideas that may or may not actually fit together. 

I have little doubt that for 30 days I can force myself to pound out fictional drivel in a linear fashion.  I may end up doing that yet.  I have this problem about fiction, and that is that I am real fond of it following the basic structure of

• Beginning
• Middle
• End

Call me crazy, but that's about as far as writing analysis as I care to go.  It doesn't have to be linear in progression, i.e. flashbacks are fine with me, but they have to make sense.  I'm not a huge fan of stuff that doesn't move the plot forward.  Writing tricks to show the writer is clever that don't serve the story are just mental masturbation, as far as I'm concerned.

So, I need to tell a story in long form.  Pounding out 50,000 words of crap should be no challenge.  Spend the time at the computer, type until my fingers bleed and my arms fall off.  That's the easy part. Having it make some sort of internal sense and be something I can work with or actually show somebody in December would be great.  Therein lies the challenge.

We shall see how this goes. 

I figured out pretty early in life that the dollar-two-ninety-eight costumes available for purchase were pretty crappy.  The Spider-Man costume had HOLES where the eyes were.  I mean, who needs to see, right?  Gotta be right in the costume....

I don't remember how old I was this particular year, but I hadn't really given serious thought to what I was going to wear that Halloween, just looking forward to the pillowcase full of candy.  I asked my mother what I should throw together.  Her response?  "A Hippie..."

It was an intriguing idea.  At this time, they weren't an endangered species as they are now.  There were still plenty of them around, at least in very Liberal Ann Arbor.  So, I figured nobody would have any problem figuring out what I was.  Pretty obvious, right?

Mother still had some wigs from when wigs were a big deal.  She had a short blond wig, and a wig with long blond hair.  Mother was a brunette.  I don't remember her every wearing the wigs, and I'm certain that her coloring would've been a dead giveaway...but I digress.

She plopped the long blond wiggy tresses on my head and brought out makeup.  I do recall the horror at the notion of putting makeup on my boyish features...but it was pretty tame.  She took some eye liner or something similar and gave me a 5 O'Clock shadow that shamed my dad.  I started to panic again at the sight of the lipstick tube, but Mother told me that it was for zits.  She took this old tube of apparently no good lipstick and scooped little blobs of it and stuck them to my face.  Lipstick being a natural adhesive (well, except for all the unnatural parts...and the fish scales...) to places other than lips, they stayed.

To top this grand costuming event off, she placed a gardening hat I never saw her wear on my head.  She told me, in all seriousness, that "I needed a big floppy hat to be a proper Hippie."

Right.

I thought I looked a million bucks.  Nobody else was dressed like I was, I even had a Peace Symbol on a string around my neck. I think I'd picked it up in 2nd grade or something.  And nobody...NOBODY could guess what I was.

I gave up, told 'em I was a hobo with a skin problem and filled the candy sack.

One other thing...I am eternally grateful there is no photographic evidence of this.

I once refused a telegram from a zombie.


-----

I don't know.  This isn't something I have given much thought to.  It makes for great plot devices in stories, and scary stories 'round the campfire and mildly interesting shows on Cable TV...

I don't honestly know whose eternal slumber I'd want to bother to chat with.  That'd be sort of like a cosmic phone call at 2 a.m.  Those are never good news....